On the first full day of the workshop, president of the The Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, David Krieger came to speak to us. He is a very gentle and soft-spoken man, but with a strength of will and character that has served him well ever since he first refused to participate in the war in Vietnam. Although the odds were stacked against him, much as they are now, he won that struggle and I would like to think he's going to win this struggle to rid the world of nuclear weapons as well.
Although I cannot remember everything he said, what I do know is that he helped me to understand that at its core, Nuclear Deterrence theory holds No Regard for Life, whatsoever. I have concluded that the very fact that nuclear weapons exist in our world is really a testament to our general desperation and frustration with our inability to "all get along" on this planet we call "Home".
As I have now had the chance to consider this further, I feel there is something I can share from my personal experience, that might help make sense of why we still have nuclear weapons scattered all over the world.
To preface this rather personal sharing, I will acknowledge that I am making myself vulnerable here. Even though the events described below took place over 20 years ago for me, they are going to be "new and present" for my readers, and may influence opinions of me in the present as well. Though I can control what I write, I cannot control people's responses, and, since I'm pretty certain I will be writing more about my life story in the future, I have decided to just go ahead and get this part of it "out there".
I will also add though, as difficult as the experience was for me, there were many, many pivotal insights that I gained as a consequence, some I will elaborate on in near future blogs. Furthermore, I was able to process the whole experience very thoroughly shortly afterwards by having the opportunity, along with about 15-20 other women, to read Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. The fact that the experience was so "fresh" for me made Este's teachings on "recognizing predators" and making the transition from "naive innocent" to "wise innocent" (among many other things) that much more relevant and profoundly life changing for me.
Finally, as I learned from going through the workshop, and watching another attendee come forward and share authentically from his own depths parts of himself that he had otherwise kept hidden from others, I have come to appreciate that when one person does that it can often give others the courage and even the very "method" for doing the same. Hopefully, in my sharing this somewhat darker experience of my life, others will find the courage to be more open as well, if they need to. As I am fond of saying: It's good to "keep all the balls on the water" (and I'll explain more about that, in a future blog : )).
* * * * * * * *
When I was in my mid twenties, I started my first job in sewing manufacturing with a company in Montana. I was initially assigned to work a "box-tacker" machine, and with Zen and the Art of Motor Cycle Maintenance under my belt, I developed a relationship with that machine and managed to keep it running better than anyone else in the plant ever had.
Not sure if that was the only reason, but I soon drew the attention of the owner of the company and he would come to talk with me off and on as I worked. Within a relatively short time, maybe as little as two or three weeks, he asked me if I would be interested in taking over the management position as the manager at the time was getting ready to resign due to "health problems".
Even though I had absolutely no experience in management, I accepted his offer. I had just been through a "revolution" in my approach to diet, which had raised my energy levels considerably above my previous "normal", so, as I told him: "I might not know anything about management, but I [did] know how to eat right!" The rest...I would just have to figure out as I went along.
Once I became manager, of necessity, the owner and I ended up spending more and more time together, reviewing product designs and production schedules. He had a childish awe of my creative sewing skills and I really felt I could do whatever he asked me to, in part because he had so much faith in me. As time went on, I found myself more and more attracted to him and, in spite of the fact that he was married, I let myself "fall in love with him".
As he later let me know, at least the attraction part was mutual, and on more than one occasion over the next several weeks and months, we were intimate with one another.
Looking back now, I can see how "dysfunctional" the whole relationship really was. But, at the time, I was still quite naive in spite of my age. It had really not been all that long since my mother had gone into the mental hospital. I was still "recovering" from the many years of social isolation her paranoia had imposed on both of us. More importantly though, I was still vulnerable to "predators" because of my still very deep needs for love and appreciation, especially from men.
A few weeks into our "affair", we hired a new employee, a woman even younger than myself. She was also quite bright and a capable sewer. What's more, though, she was very Observant, and began to pick-up on the "signs" that neither the owner nor I were discreet enough to hide. Again, in my naiveté, I did not see what she was up to until it was too late. Before long, I started to become "old news" to my employer. He started giving less and less of his attention to me, even with respect to work issues, and more and more to her.
I was still "in love" with him though, and bent on "loving no matter what", so I began channeling all of that energy into my work, putting in more and more hours as the weeks went by. It did not cost him any more because I was on a salary, but it definitely ended up costing me.
Consequently, it wasn't very long before I started to burn out, both emotionally and physically. After a trip to Atlanta, Georgia for the "Bobbin Show"- the annual sewing manufacturer's convention, where I worked hard every day to network and establish new contacts with various suppliers - I came back hoping to take a few days off to "recover". However, as far as my employer was concerned, my trip to the "Bobbin Show" had been a vacation for me, and so he couldn't understand why I would want or need to take any additional time off. In other words, whether it was a conscious choice on his part or not, he was not listening to me, let alone hearing me.
With mounting exhaustion and feelings of helplessness, I realized the only way I was going to get any time off was to quit, but I really did not want to do that, because I really liked the job, and I needed the job to support myself. As had been the case, and would continue to be the case for many years ahead, I did not have any "back-up" - no one else I could rely on for practical support - except myself.
So, I pushed on until, one day, in the break room, one of the other employees let me know that the new girl was out to get my position and "talking to the owner behind my back", as well as causing or suggesting problems that she was blaming on me. It seemed they were both just waiting for me to quit.
I had a dream then. One in which I became lucid. I was being chased by a rabid beaver-like creature, on an island, out in the middle of a lake. When I realized I was dreaming, I intentionally leaped with great flying strides to the mainland, thus escaping harm.
Waking with a renewed sense of will and determination, I went to work the next day with a specially designed name-tag that read "Rocki Bellboa" - and, sure enough, when the new girl saw it, she asked me what it meant, and I told her, "It means I'm just going to keep coming back, and keep coming back, and keep coming back." She immediately rushed to the owner's office.
Shortly thereafter, I was called there myself. The employer said that before I left he wanted me to train the new girl in my position. I was puzzled, as I had only asked, at one point, how much notice he wanted me to give him IF I decided to quit. But I had not decided to do that. He then told me if I were not going to quit, then I was "Fired"...but he still wanted me to train the new girl before I left.
I couldn't get my mind around what had happened. In something of a stupor, I carried out his request, finished my time there, and then proceeded to file for unemployment. But, I found myself spiraling rapidly into one of the deepest depressive episodes of my life. I was not only hurt emotionally, but I had lost my job, a job that was not only a source of income, but a source of great satisfaction for me because of all the creative ways I was able to express my sewing and even my innate management skills.
I felt really, really, hopeless, and helpless, and that's when I began contemplating suicide.
To that end, I eventually went to the store and bought some sleeping pills.
Once back home, I lay alone on my futon pallet bed, just wishing I could stop breathing.
It was in that state of mind and emotion that I heard a "voice in my head", and this is what it said:
"Okay, so you were able to buy the sleeping pills and nobody stopped you." I mentally agreed. "You could probably go back and buy more if you really wanted to and no one would stop you then either." Again I agreed. "So now you know that you can take your life if you want to and, should things ever get this bad again, or worse, you can end your life any time in the future as well." Another mental nod from me. "But..." the voice continued, "...aren't you just a little bit curious to see how the rest of your life turns out?"
And, with a few moments consideration, to that question, I replied "Yes."
I carried that bottle of sleeping pills with me all the way to Santa Barbara, CA. I kept it as a reminder that my life truly was in my own hands, and I could end it any time I wanted to. As I have explained in my recent "Why Bother?" blog, I think I have a better understanding of what the Real Consequences of ending my life might be, especially if I end it in the midst of really negative "patterning", so, for the record, I'm not inclined to be doing that. However, that does not change the fact that, in effect, I really could still "check out" any time.
And now I am beginning to think that our stockpiles of nuclear weapons are very much the same kind of "sleeping pills" for all of humanity.
In much the same way I was struggling with my relationship with my employer, on the whole, we continue to struggle with our relationships with just about everyone, interpersonally, and globally. Even for the people who are making headway on a small scale, the much greater issues, the truly Global Issues, seem pretty overwhelming, and many feel "helpless" and "hopeless", with no "back-up", just like I did.
Furthermore, we know now, that if it gets really bad, if diplomacy fails, if a couple of psychopathic leaders just go berserk with rage and frustration, or if only a few truly suicidal people (i.e. terrorists) ever get their hands on a nuclear weapon, then they can, in effect, pass out Big Giant Sleeping Pills to humankind, and put us all out of our misery, along with themselves, and the rest of life on this planet!
It begs the question: Why are we All Going Along With This?!?!
Why are we all (or, at least, most of us) so complacent about the fact that Our Lives and the Lives of Everything on this Planet are being effectively controlled, held in the balance, by only a handful of people? That those human beings who are in power are really not that different from the rest of us, except they are even MORE likely to be psychopaths and, therefore, even LESS Capable of caring at all about how much harm they may cause to others, both human and non-human.
Given the stockpiles of "Nuclear Sleeping Pills" already hidden in "medicine cabinets" all over the world (and, to be honest, this includes nuclear power facilities as well), is there any good reason why we, why Anyone, should be acquiring More?! Is there a chance, just maybe, that we can find other, less inherently Suicidal ways to satisfy our needs for security (and energy)? Can we find better ideas, more Life Respecting ideas around which we can orient our international foreign policies besides "Nuclear Deterrence" and "The Balance of Power"?
Is anyone just a little bit curious to see what the future might hold for humanity, if we can just get past this "rough patch"?
As for me...I've decided to stick around and see. Thanks to Paul K. Chappell's inspiration among other things, I have finally gotten rid of that bottle of sleeping pills. I have decided to continue to face my own personal challenges, and to grow through those, to become more and more capable of "Waging Peace" in All of my relationships by Being Peace-Full and by Communicating Peace - Fully.
Furthermore, wherever possible, I am going to continue to bring attention to What is Really at Stake in this world, as long as we do not recognize the irrational, paranoid, and basically un-empathetic nature of so many of those in power. These leaders do Not represent "Us". They do not represent the character of Most human beings to be empathetic and cooperative. As psychopaths, they are the "6%ers" at best, and the sooner we realize that, the more effective we can be at shifting the current "security paradigm". Moreover, we can Stop Giving Them the "keys" to all of the "medicine cabinets" all over the world holding all of our "Nuclear Sleeping Pills".
For now, I have Paul K. Chappell and the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation to thank for giving me more tools to help me in that struggle, and for giving me the motivation to share what I have learned with others, here, and as I continue my bike trek across the country.
To that end, I am going to stay Hope Full AND Curious...and I Hope You Will, Too! : ))
Showing posts with label Peace Leadership Workshop. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Peace Leadership Workshop. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Texas Time-Out and the NAPF Workshop In Santa Barbara, Part I
Once I returned to New Braunfels from visiting with my friends in San Antonio, I began planning my bicycle ride from there to San Marcos and then Austin, thinking I would be continuing from there to Weatherford...until...it started to rain again. :p
Seems the rains that had pestered me through Louisianna and the early days of my travels through Texas, were still hanging around, and given the challenges I had faced already, I was feeling pretty spent. It became clearer and clearer to me that I was not going to be able to get to Weatherford in time by bicycle, so I called my aunt and uncle and they graciously drove down to New Braunfels to pick me up and drive me back to Weatheford instead. I spent a few more days relaxing with them. My friend, Alisa, in Jacksonville, FL sent me the extra clothes I needed to attend the workshop (Thanks, again, Alisa!). Then my aunt and uncle drove me to the Dallas area where I stayed with another couple of friends until it was time for me to fly to Santa Barbara, early, early on Sunday, July 22nd.
On the plane, I was fortunate enough to sit with a pleasant young man named, Joel. We conversed the whole way to the plane's one stop in Albequerqe, NM where Joel departed, but not before I had him signed-up as another NAPF member! : ) For the remainder of the flight, I tried to rest a bit, as well as continue my re-reading of Paul Chappell's book "Peaceful Revolution" (part of our "home work" for the upcoming workshop).
Once I arrived at LAX, I caught the Santa Barbara bus shuttle to Goleta. During the bus ride I had a chance to speak with a couple of other riders including one who was at his five month mark being sober. He appreciated the encouragement I had to share with respect to Changing the Pattern-Patterning and the Really Long-Term Effects that might have for him, and even other people he knew. (And if you have not read it already, you can find out more about that in my "Why Bother?" blog below).
I also spoke with another passenger, who, interestingly enough, had the unusual experience of sharing the company of Israelis, Iraquis, Iranians, and Arabs in their mutual love and appreciation of Arabian Horses! I know there is a more broadly accepted recognition for the way music and dance can bring people from all walks of life together, but this was my first exposure to the idea that Love for Arabian Horses could do that as well, especially in a region as contentious as the Middle East. I was grateful that he was able to share from his very positive experiences, and also appreciative that he felt generous enough to offer me a cash donation before we "went our separate ways". (Thanks again, Jay!)
Arriving in Goleta, I was chauffeured by one of the NAPF interns to the beautiful and inherently peaceful La Casa De Maria. There I saw Paul again briefly, before he was off to pick-up more workshop attendees from the Santa Barbara airport. Well ahead of my check-in time, I wandered the grounds for a while with other early arrivals, Mary and Cori, and later found myself drawn to a refreshing nap in the Sadako Peace Garden.
Most of the rest of the workshop attendees gathered by evening for the first of many wonderful meals served by the La Casa de Maria staff. As the facilities have served as a spiritual retreat center for decades, there were gardens and orchards that continue to provide fresh produce for all who come to visit. Following our meal, we all gathered in the room that would be our workshop space for the remainder of the week. There Paul "Set the Stage" for what we would be learning and sharing during our time together.
Even during this first evening, I was struck with a profound feeling that this workshop was going to be a "seminal" event. That this "small committed group" of people were going to, eventually, help "change the world", and I have continued to have this feeling ever since.
Granted, it may be many years or even decades, before any of us will know if I am "right" in that intuition, but I'm not afraid to confess it here and now, "for the record". : ))
No matter what, we are living in a particularly unique time. Not only are we Participants in "history", our own "history" as well as the "history" of the world. Via the internet, we are also Observing, Documenting, and Sharing that "history" every step of the way. Did Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. have the same sense of what his impact on the world might be? Did Gandhi? Did Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Did Frederick Douglass? Can you imagine all or any of them as "bloggers"? : ))
As I would find, there was much more to experience ahead, and much more to learn, and therefore much more to share with you here...some of which I will be covering in "Part II" of this series.
So...stay tuned!... : )
Seems the rains that had pestered me through Louisianna and the early days of my travels through Texas, were still hanging around, and given the challenges I had faced already, I was feeling pretty spent. It became clearer and clearer to me that I was not going to be able to get to Weatherford in time by bicycle, so I called my aunt and uncle and they graciously drove down to New Braunfels to pick me up and drive me back to Weatheford instead. I spent a few more days relaxing with them. My friend, Alisa, in Jacksonville, FL sent me the extra clothes I needed to attend the workshop (Thanks, again, Alisa!). Then my aunt and uncle drove me to the Dallas area where I stayed with another couple of friends until it was time for me to fly to Santa Barbara, early, early on Sunday, July 22nd.
On the plane, I was fortunate enough to sit with a pleasant young man named, Joel. We conversed the whole way to the plane's one stop in Albequerqe, NM where Joel departed, but not before I had him signed-up as another NAPF member! : ) For the remainder of the flight, I tried to rest a bit, as well as continue my re-reading of Paul Chappell's book "Peaceful Revolution" (part of our "home work" for the upcoming workshop).
Once I arrived at LAX, I caught the Santa Barbara bus shuttle to Goleta. During the bus ride I had a chance to speak with a couple of other riders including one who was at his five month mark being sober. He appreciated the encouragement I had to share with respect to Changing the Pattern-Patterning and the Really Long-Term Effects that might have for him, and even other people he knew. (And if you have not read it already, you can find out more about that in my "Why Bother?" blog below).
I also spoke with another passenger, who, interestingly enough, had the unusual experience of sharing the company of Israelis, Iraquis, Iranians, and Arabs in their mutual love and appreciation of Arabian Horses! I know there is a more broadly accepted recognition for the way music and dance can bring people from all walks of life together, but this was my first exposure to the idea that Love for Arabian Horses could do that as well, especially in a region as contentious as the Middle East. I was grateful that he was able to share from his very positive experiences, and also appreciative that he felt generous enough to offer me a cash donation before we "went our separate ways". (Thanks again, Jay!)
Arriving in Goleta, I was chauffeured by one of the NAPF interns to the beautiful and inherently peaceful La Casa De Maria. There I saw Paul again briefly, before he was off to pick-up more workshop attendees from the Santa Barbara airport. Well ahead of my check-in time, I wandered the grounds for a while with other early arrivals, Mary and Cori, and later found myself drawn to a refreshing nap in the Sadako Peace Garden.
Most of the rest of the workshop attendees gathered by evening for the first of many wonderful meals served by the La Casa de Maria staff. As the facilities have served as a spiritual retreat center for decades, there were gardens and orchards that continue to provide fresh produce for all who come to visit. Following our meal, we all gathered in the room that would be our workshop space for the remainder of the week. There Paul "Set the Stage" for what we would be learning and sharing during our time together.
Even during this first evening, I was struck with a profound feeling that this workshop was going to be a "seminal" event. That this "small committed group" of people were going to, eventually, help "change the world", and I have continued to have this feeling ever since.
Granted, it may be many years or even decades, before any of us will know if I am "right" in that intuition, but I'm not afraid to confess it here and now, "for the record". : ))
No matter what, we are living in a particularly unique time. Not only are we Participants in "history", our own "history" as well as the "history" of the world. Via the internet, we are also Observing, Documenting, and Sharing that "history" every step of the way. Did Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. have the same sense of what his impact on the world might be? Did Gandhi? Did Elizabeth Cady Stanton? Did Frederick Douglass? Can you imagine all or any of them as "bloggers"? : ))
As I would find, there was much more to experience ahead, and much more to learn, and therefore much more to share with you here...some of which I will be covering in "Part II" of this series.
So...stay tuned!... : )
Monday, July 9, 2012
It's Always Something - And Sometimes It's Multiple Somethings... : ))
One of the things I have come to accept as I have been riding my bicycle across the country is that there really is no such thing as the "perfect" ride. As the title of this blog suggests, there is always "something" that makes it a challenge, and sometimes it can be a combination of several things, thus making it really, really, challenging.
Take weather for instance: It might be clear, but then it means it might be warmer, or windier. I might have a tail wind, which is usually welcome when riding a bicycle, but in my case, since I am traveling so slowly, a tail wind means there is no "relative" wind and I am traveling in the equivalent of an air bubble where perspiration does not dry and overall cooling is limited. Or if I have a headwind, or even a cross-wind, which I have come to prefer, a little wind is good, but too much, and I'm cycling through pea soup.
If it's cloudy, then it might be somewhat cooler, but there is the additional threat of rain. It might be hot, with the rain helping to cool things down, or...just make it that much more humid. It might be hot, and dry, which helps with drying perspiration, but then I have to be extra sure I'm hydrating more, and the heat, especially with No Shade Anywhere, can take its toll pretty quickly.
Time of day is also a factor. I've come to prefer a later start so at least it is cooling down at the same time I am wearing out, but that has meant riding into the night on several occasions...something I have actually come to enjoy...except for the bugs, that tend to come out more at night. Just as I was crossing a long bridge into Columbus I got zapped by a big ol' beetle right in my left cheek, not to mention the all too frequent "gnat in the eye". I tried wearing a lighter pair of safety goggles for night riding, but I've stopped using them because they refract oncoming light so badly it makes it nearly impossible to see anything. Instead, I've learned to just keep my eyes squinted a little more to protect them from the bugs, and I tend to tilt my helmet way forward to block the blinding lights of oncoming traffic.
And then there are the road conditions. I might have access to wide shoulders...only to find they are covered with chip-and-seal (i.e. they are made from a layer of tar with small bits of gravel scattered over the top, and that's all, no "finishing" of the surface to make it smoother). I've noticed this to be the most common in Texas thus far. The pavement may have very distinct seams every 20 feet or so...not much to notice in a car going 60 mph with a reasonable suspension system, but for me, it's a bump to my bike, my butt, and my trailer over each one, and this can go on for miles at a time.
On the other hand, the shoulders might be smooth...in most places...but then be littered with gravel and pieces of truck tire treads, or old shoes, or pieces of wood, or who knows what. And...if there are "rumple strips" or "sleeper bumps" as I like to call them, then I have to endure hammering over those to avoid everything else that might be piled up in the shoulder. The shoulders may be full of fissures, ridges, and pot-holes, like they were in Louisiana making them completely unrideable. Or...there might not be any shoulder at all, forcing me to ride in the main lanes. This latter case, however, and just for the record, has not proven to be a problem. As I have been telling people lately, most people do not want to be involved in an "accident" of any kind no matter how "crazy" they might be as a driver. If nothing else, they don't want to see their insurance rates go up! : ))
Sometimes the roads might be fairly flat. Truly flat doesn't happen often, there is usually just a little bit of grade and, for me, a long up-hill grade means No Momentum as much as a shorter, or steeper up-hill grade. Of course, going down-hill for a while afterwards is always a plus, unless the down-hill part is Too Steep as I found out on my way to New Braunfels (more about that later). Furthermore, flat roads can become very monotonous as well, especially if there are not many markers along the way - small towns, changes in vegetation, an overhanging tree for a bit of shade, etc.
Even riding through Florida and Mississippi along the coast, where the roads were mostly at sea level, I still had to deal with much higher overpasses and bridges that were built to accommodate the larger ships sailing through the region.
Finally, there are the physical factors that I deal with. Did I get adequate food or enough sleep the night before a ride? How many days and miles in a row have I been riding? Did I hydrate sufficiently prior to getting on my bicycle? Did I take enough but not too much anti-inflammatory medication (generic "Aleve" for me)? Is it "that time of the month"? Are there enough places to stop for more water along the route? Are there any places to actually stop and rest as necessary? Depending on how long the ride is, do I need one pair of riding shorts or two for the extra padding?
Dare I say...the Devil is in the details?! : ))
On July 3rd, I had many of these factors coming into play. I'd stayed up fairly late talking with my host Chris and his brother and his friend Casey...again. However, I managed to get a relatively early start in spite of that, leaving Chris's apartment in Columbus around 8:20 AM. (Sure, I wanted to leave earlier, but that's just the way it worked out.)
Although the roads were in pretty good condition, there was a lot of chip-and-seal, it was really hot, I had a slight tail-wind giving me that air-bubble effect, and...then...there were...the hills. As you can see by the attached image, those hills, though not extreme, were up and down and up and down for pretty much the entire ride. I don't think I was able to go much more than 1/4 to 1/2 mile without facing another hill. That dropped my average speed from 6 to 8 mph down to more like 4 or 5 mph.
Nevertheless, I persevered. Even when I started this particular day, I knew it would be one of my most difficult, if only because I would be traveling 70 miles, my longest distance yet, in the Texas heat. I did not, however, realize until I was fully into it that the hills would be virtually non-stop. I had been in a bit of a rush as always to get my course plotted, and notes taken, so I failed to look more closely at my route map and the info on "elevation changes" at the bottom. Truth is, I don't think I really wanted to know because I knew it would not make any difference one way or another. I would just have to do what I had to do, no matter what.
As I had done on so many other days, I simply paced myself. Opting for slow and steady "turtle power" rather than racing anywhere, with the exception of racing to get to the McDonald's in Weimar before they stopped serving breakfast! : )
On approach, I wasn't sure if Weimar had a McDonald's or if I would make it in time, but when I saw those "Golden Arches" a mile or so directly ahead, at the intersection of the access road I was on and the main exit off of I-10, I looked at my watch reading 10:20 or so and thought, "Maybe, just maybe, I can make it".
I pedaled as hard as I could, up another hill (!). I think I got in the door at 10:27, sweating and breathing hard, with a line of people in front of me and only one person at the counter to take our orders. My heart sank when the manager turned a lever over the packing station and the breakfast menus disappeared as they were replaced by the lunch/dinner menus. I guess the woman in front of me got the last of the sausage biscuits. However, when it was finally my turn I made it clear to the clerk that I had made quite an effort to get there before 10:30 and I really hoped they'd still be able to accommodate my order for oatmeal and two Egg-McMuffins (one for then and one for the road). They were able to "take care of me" as she put it, so my extra effort did not go to waste. Furthermore, while I was there at the McDonald's I was able to make contact with the Fire Chief in Luling which eventually led to my being given the opportunity to stay at one of the two Fire Stations there.
I made one more major stop in Schulenburg at a place called the "Iron Horse Filling Station". I took advantage of the "Pizza Buffet Special", although I knew better than to overeat, so I paced myself on that as well. I talked for a while with one of the staff who took interest in my mission after seeing my bicycle parked outside the building. She graciously added her name to the membership roster for the NAPF and was even kind enough to let me have my lunch for free. I made sure to get a re-fill on all of my water bottles, before once again heading down the road.
It was about 2:00 PM when I left Schulenberg. It would be another 10 hours before I reached Luling. I took HWY 90 which was relatively quiet, and once the sun set, I had the advantage of clear skies and a full moon making it much easier to see...easy enough to see my first Live armadillo for just a few seconds before it disappeared into the tall grasses along the side of the road.
When I arrived in Luling, I was once again graciously welcomed by the on duty fire fighters there. Special thanks to Keith, who gave up his sleeping quarters for the recliner so that I would have a bed and a room to myself. I took a shower, stored my cold-food, rigged some lines between my trailer and my bicycle to dry my sweaty gear, and went to bed, letting everyone know that questions would just have to wait until morning!
And, sure enough, there were a few questions the next day, including some from the "relief" as they came to work around 9:00. Since I still had another long ride ahead though, I didn't want to stick around too long, so I tried to get away as soon as I could, loading up on water, and with a couple of doughnuts for the road thanks to Nadi.:)
It would prove to be insufficient, however, to get me to my destination in New Braunfels. I had been making very slow progress all morning, more hills, this time a stronger cross-wind, high heat, chip-n-seal roads, and then one particularly steep hill that I tried to take at full speed, seeing how the opposite side was just as steep and I wanted as much momentum going up it as I could get.
About midway down...there's a change in the sound of my trailer, from its usual hum to a grinding rattle. It was still rolling though, so I figured it was something to do with the wheel bearings, or maybe a change in the roughness of the road...until I stopped at the bottom of the hill to take a closer look: Turns out, the solid rubber tire had come completely off the plastic rim of the left wheel, so the rattle I was hearing was that plastic rim against the road.
I propped my bicycle up as best I could along the side of the road and started walking back to see if I could find the tire, thinking if I did find it, I might have a chance to force it back on the rim. One lady passed me in a white car and I tried to get her attention so that she would not run into my bicycle parked ahead, then, as I turned around to see her go up the hill, I realized my bicycle was no longer propped by the side of the road, but had fallen into the street. As I was walking back, she returned to make sure I was okay, then another vehicle came by, this time a big, black pick-up truck. It too made a u-turn at the top of the hill and pulled off the road once it reached my bicycle, about the same time I did.
And, so, I was ultimately "rescued" by Cody, who assured me he was not crazy or anything! No, he was just a good ol' Texan, an "angel" in his crisp white shirt, who happened to show up just when I needed him. Although we looked for a little while longer to find the lost wheel, he was sure it would be a much better idea for me to just let him load up my bicycle and then take me to New Braunfels himself, to which I reluctantly agreed. I wasn't reluctant because of Cody, just that this would be my first "break" from my "geographically continuous route under my own power."
I saw from the passenger side of the truck, that yes, there were still quite a few hills left in my journey, and it was clear and hot, and given the painfully slow pace I had been on since morning, in part because of the 70 mile ride I had completed too few hours before, I accepted the fact that I was "done" for the day anyway. Even though I had been willing, even "surrendered" to endure whatever lay ahead, it seems "the Universe" had other plans for me, and losing my trailer tire was enough of a "major mechanical failure" to finally get me off the road.
However, the lift from Cody also meant I got to New Braunfels closer to my originally planned time. My friends Cassey and Michael came from San Antonio to pick me up there and we had dinner at a local, though "traditional German" restaurant. (As Michael commented, we were in "New Braunfels" after all, so it seemed only right to go to a German Restaurant! : ))
I spent a few more relaxing days with Cassey and Michael, watched most of the episodes in one season of "Top Shot" hosted by Colby Donaldson of earlier "Survivor" fame, and returned to New Braunfels to await the arrival of a set of new wheels for my trailer.
At this point, I have gone ahead and purchased at least a one-way plane ticket to Santa Barbara (all I could afford right now, and that thanks specifically to the generous donations from Chris and his brother Stephen back in Columbus). I am not sure if I will make it all the way in the time I have left, but I am going to try to make it to Weatherford, Texas, and then my Aunt and Uncle will be driving me the rest of the way to Dallas where my friends there will make sure I get to the plane on time.
I'm really looking forward to the NAPF workshop, excited by the possibilities of what we will learn together, and the opportunity for me to get clearer on what my mission can be or will be after I get back to Texas. I'm kind of at a "half-way" point right now, so it is a good time to re-group, re-organize, re-energize, make some assessments and changes based on lessons learned, and see how to get myself the rest of the way across the country as I continue to Pedal for Peace!
Thanks again to all of my readers and to everyone who has offered their support thus far whether in the form of food and shelter, cash donations, signing up for membership in the NAPF, and/or emotional/moral support. It has all been meaningful to me and I am extremely grateful to be able to keep doing what I am doing because of that support.
Not sure how many more blogs I will be able to post between now and the time I leave for Santa Barbara, but know that I am still "on course" and I will be back with updates as soon as I can. : ) Also, I am still looking for more people to become NAPF members to contribute to my tuition credit. If you would like to sign-up, please send your name, zip code, and e-mail address to me at: llbell_100 (at) Yahoo.com.
Thanks again, Everyone! : ))
Take weather for instance: It might be clear, but then it means it might be warmer, or windier. I might have a tail wind, which is usually welcome when riding a bicycle, but in my case, since I am traveling so slowly, a tail wind means there is no "relative" wind and I am traveling in the equivalent of an air bubble where perspiration does not dry and overall cooling is limited. Or if I have a headwind, or even a cross-wind, which I have come to prefer, a little wind is good, but too much, and I'm cycling through pea soup.
If it's cloudy, then it might be somewhat cooler, but there is the additional threat of rain. It might be hot, with the rain helping to cool things down, or...just make it that much more humid. It might be hot, and dry, which helps with drying perspiration, but then I have to be extra sure I'm hydrating more, and the heat, especially with No Shade Anywhere, can take its toll pretty quickly.
Time of day is also a factor. I've come to prefer a later start so at least it is cooling down at the same time I am wearing out, but that has meant riding into the night on several occasions...something I have actually come to enjoy...except for the bugs, that tend to come out more at night. Just as I was crossing a long bridge into Columbus I got zapped by a big ol' beetle right in my left cheek, not to mention the all too frequent "gnat in the eye". I tried wearing a lighter pair of safety goggles for night riding, but I've stopped using them because they refract oncoming light so badly it makes it nearly impossible to see anything. Instead, I've learned to just keep my eyes squinted a little more to protect them from the bugs, and I tend to tilt my helmet way forward to block the blinding lights of oncoming traffic.And then there are the road conditions. I might have access to wide shoulders...only to find they are covered with chip-and-seal (i.e. they are made from a layer of tar with small bits of gravel scattered over the top, and that's all, no "finishing" of the surface to make it smoother). I've noticed this to be the most common in Texas thus far. The pavement may have very distinct seams every 20 feet or so...not much to notice in a car going 60 mph with a reasonable suspension system, but for me, it's a bump to my bike, my butt, and my trailer over each one, and this can go on for miles at a time.
On the other hand, the shoulders might be smooth...in most places...but then be littered with gravel and pieces of truck tire treads, or old shoes, or pieces of wood, or who knows what. And...if there are "rumple strips" or "sleeper bumps" as I like to call them, then I have to endure hammering over those to avoid everything else that might be piled up in the shoulder. The shoulders may be full of fissures, ridges, and pot-holes, like they were in Louisiana making them completely unrideable. Or...there might not be any shoulder at all, forcing me to ride in the main lanes. This latter case, however, and just for the record, has not proven to be a problem. As I have been telling people lately, most people do not want to be involved in an "accident" of any kind no matter how "crazy" they might be as a driver. If nothing else, they don't want to see their insurance rates go up! : ))
Sometimes the roads might be fairly flat. Truly flat doesn't happen often, there is usually just a little bit of grade and, for me, a long up-hill grade means No Momentum as much as a shorter, or steeper up-hill grade. Of course, going down-hill for a while afterwards is always a plus, unless the down-hill part is Too Steep as I found out on my way to New Braunfels (more about that later). Furthermore, flat roads can become very monotonous as well, especially if there are not many markers along the way - small towns, changes in vegetation, an overhanging tree for a bit of shade, etc. 
Even riding through Florida and Mississippi along the coast, where the roads were mostly at sea level, I still had to deal with much higher overpasses and bridges that were built to accommodate the larger ships sailing through the region.
Finally, there are the physical factors that I deal with. Did I get adequate food or enough sleep the night before a ride? How many days and miles in a row have I been riding? Did I hydrate sufficiently prior to getting on my bicycle? Did I take enough but not too much anti-inflammatory medication (generic "Aleve" for me)? Is it "that time of the month"? Are there enough places to stop for more water along the route? Are there any places to actually stop and rest as necessary? Depending on how long the ride is, do I need one pair of riding shorts or two for the extra padding?Dare I say...the Devil is in the details?! : ))
On July 3rd, I had many of these factors coming into play. I'd stayed up fairly late talking with my host Chris and his brother and his friend Casey...again. However, I managed to get a relatively early start in spite of that, leaving Chris's apartment in Columbus around 8:20 AM. (Sure, I wanted to leave earlier, but that's just the way it worked out.)
Although the roads were in pretty good condition, there was a lot of chip-and-seal, it was really hot, I had a slight tail-wind giving me that air-bubble effect, and...then...there were...the hills. As you can see by the attached image, those hills, though not extreme, were up and down and up and down for pretty much the entire ride. I don't think I was able to go much more than 1/4 to 1/2 mile without facing another hill. That dropped my average speed from 6 to 8 mph down to more like 4 or 5 mph.
Nevertheless, I persevered. Even when I started this particular day, I knew it would be one of my most difficult, if only because I would be traveling 70 miles, my longest distance yet, in the Texas heat. I did not, however, realize until I was fully into it that the hills would be virtually non-stop. I had been in a bit of a rush as always to get my course plotted, and notes taken, so I failed to look more closely at my route map and the info on "elevation changes" at the bottom. Truth is, I don't think I really wanted to know because I knew it would not make any difference one way or another. I would just have to do what I had to do, no matter what.As I had done on so many other days, I simply paced myself. Opting for slow and steady "turtle power" rather than racing anywhere, with the exception of racing to get to the McDonald's in Weimar before they stopped serving breakfast! : )
On approach, I wasn't sure if Weimar had a McDonald's or if I would make it in time, but when I saw those "Golden Arches" a mile or so directly ahead, at the intersection of the access road I was on and the main exit off of I-10, I looked at my watch reading 10:20 or so and thought, "Maybe, just maybe, I can make it".
I pedaled as hard as I could, up another hill (!). I think I got in the door at 10:27, sweating and breathing hard, with a line of people in front of me and only one person at the counter to take our orders. My heart sank when the manager turned a lever over the packing station and the breakfast menus disappeared as they were replaced by the lunch/dinner menus. I guess the woman in front of me got the last of the sausage biscuits. However, when it was finally my turn I made it clear to the clerk that I had made quite an effort to get there before 10:30 and I really hoped they'd still be able to accommodate my order for oatmeal and two Egg-McMuffins (one for then and one for the road). They were able to "take care of me" as she put it, so my extra effort did not go to waste. Furthermore, while I was there at the McDonald's I was able to make contact with the Fire Chief in Luling which eventually led to my being given the opportunity to stay at one of the two Fire Stations there.
I made one more major stop in Schulenburg at a place called the "Iron Horse Filling Station". I took advantage of the "Pizza Buffet Special", although I knew better than to overeat, so I paced myself on that as well. I talked for a while with one of the staff who took interest in my mission after seeing my bicycle parked outside the building. She graciously added her name to the membership roster for the NAPF and was even kind enough to let me have my lunch for free. I made sure to get a re-fill on all of my water bottles, before once again heading down the road.It was about 2:00 PM when I left Schulenberg. It would be another 10 hours before I reached Luling. I took HWY 90 which was relatively quiet, and once the sun set, I had the advantage of clear skies and a full moon making it much easier to see...easy enough to see my first Live armadillo for just a few seconds before it disappeared into the tall grasses along the side of the road.
When I arrived in Luling, I was once again graciously welcomed by the on duty fire fighters there. Special thanks to Keith, who gave up his sleeping quarters for the recliner so that I would have a bed and a room to myself. I took a shower, stored my cold-food, rigged some lines between my trailer and my bicycle to dry my sweaty gear, and went to bed, letting everyone know that questions would just have to wait until morning!
And, sure enough, there were a few questions the next day, including some from the "relief" as they came to work around 9:00. Since I still had another long ride ahead though, I didn't want to stick around too long, so I tried to get away as soon as I could, loading up on water, and with a couple of doughnuts for the road thanks to Nadi.:)It would prove to be insufficient, however, to get me to my destination in New Braunfels. I had been making very slow progress all morning, more hills, this time a stronger cross-wind, high heat, chip-n-seal roads, and then one particularly steep hill that I tried to take at full speed, seeing how the opposite side was just as steep and I wanted as much momentum going up it as I could get.
About midway down...there's a change in the sound of my trailer, from its usual hum to a grinding rattle. It was still rolling though, so I figured it was something to do with the wheel bearings, or maybe a change in the roughness of the road...until I stopped at the bottom of the hill to take a closer look: Turns out, the solid rubber tire had come completely off the plastic rim of the left wheel, so the rattle I was hearing was that plastic rim against the road.
I propped my bicycle up as best I could along the side of the road and started walking back to see if I could find the tire, thinking if I did find it, I might have a chance to force it back on the rim. One lady passed me in a white car and I tried to get her attention so that she would not run into my bicycle parked ahead, then, as I turned around to see her go up the hill, I realized my bicycle was no longer propped by the side of the road, but had fallen into the street. As I was walking back, she returned to make sure I was okay, then another vehicle came by, this time a big, black pick-up truck. It too made a u-turn at the top of the hill and pulled off the road once it reached my bicycle, about the same time I did.
And, so, I was ultimately "rescued" by Cody, who assured me he was not crazy or anything! No, he was just a good ol' Texan, an "angel" in his crisp white shirt, who happened to show up just when I needed him. Although we looked for a little while longer to find the lost wheel, he was sure it would be a much better idea for me to just let him load up my bicycle and then take me to New Braunfels himself, to which I reluctantly agreed. I wasn't reluctant because of Cody, just that this would be my first "break" from my "geographically continuous route under my own power."
I saw from the passenger side of the truck, that yes, there were still quite a few hills left in my journey, and it was clear and hot, and given the painfully slow pace I had been on since morning, in part because of the 70 mile ride I had completed too few hours before, I accepted the fact that I was "done" for the day anyway. Even though I had been willing, even "surrendered" to endure whatever lay ahead, it seems "the Universe" had other plans for me, and losing my trailer tire was enough of a "major mechanical failure" to finally get me off the road.
However, the lift from Cody also meant I got to New Braunfels closer to my originally planned time. My friends Cassey and Michael came from San Antonio to pick me up there and we had dinner at a local, though "traditional German" restaurant. (As Michael commented, we were in "New Braunfels" after all, so it seemed only right to go to a German Restaurant! : ))
I spent a few more relaxing days with Cassey and Michael, watched most of the episodes in one season of "Top Shot" hosted by Colby Donaldson of earlier "Survivor" fame, and returned to New Braunfels to await the arrival of a set of new wheels for my trailer.At this point, I have gone ahead and purchased at least a one-way plane ticket to Santa Barbara (all I could afford right now, and that thanks specifically to the generous donations from Chris and his brother Stephen back in Columbus). I am not sure if I will make it all the way in the time I have left, but I am going to try to make it to Weatherford, Texas, and then my Aunt and Uncle will be driving me the rest of the way to Dallas where my friends there will make sure I get to the plane on time.
I'm really looking forward to the NAPF workshop, excited by the possibilities of what we will learn together, and the opportunity for me to get clearer on what my mission can be or will be after I get back to Texas. I'm kind of at a "half-way" point right now, so it is a good time to re-group, re-organize, re-energize, make some assessments and changes based on lessons learned, and see how to get myself the rest of the way across the country as I continue to Pedal for Peace!
Thanks again to all of my readers and to everyone who has offered their support thus far whether in the form of food and shelter, cash donations, signing up for membership in the NAPF, and/or emotional/moral support. It has all been meaningful to me and I am extremely grateful to be able to keep doing what I am doing because of that support.
Not sure how many more blogs I will be able to post between now and the time I leave for Santa Barbara, but know that I am still "on course" and I will be back with updates as soon as I can. : ) Also, I am still looking for more people to become NAPF members to contribute to my tuition credit. If you would like to sign-up, please send your name, zip code, and e-mail address to me at: llbell_100 (at) Yahoo.com.
Thanks again, Everyone! : ))
Friday, June 29, 2012
What Are You Willing to Do to Make World Peace a Reality?
To Whom It May Concern - My Current Subscribers and New Readers in the Reddit Community:
What I am communicating below I have also shared in part under the sub-Reddits "IAmA" and "Bicycling". I understand that I am new to the Reddit community. Nevertheless, the responses I have received thus far have been pretty disappointing. I would really like more feedback than just up or down votes, because, as necessary, I am willing to learn how to communicate more effectively, in general, and in the Reddit environment in particular.
I know I can come off as "odd" to people at first, but once they get to know me, they realize I am "for real", that I really am a decent, sincere, passionate, and compassionate person, and one who really does want to make a difference in the world in the best way I can, or think I can.
Not to be overly dramatic, but I'm choking-up, crying even, as I write these words, because I'm thinking about all that I have been through, and deliberately chosen to put myself through over the last several weeks and months, in order to do just that: To make a difference in the world - To live my life according to the principle of non-aggression and to REALLY help bring about World Peace, through very deliberate and intentional effort...a lot of effort...and with the knowledge that more effort, even extraordinary effort, will be necessary in order to reach that goal.
In many of his talks, author and Peace Leadership Director for the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, Paul K. Chappell, points out that all too often, people believe "World Peace" is a naive dream, a joke answer to a beauty pageant question. I follow his logic, however, when he points out that thinking we can continue the way we are going, and survive as a species, is even more naive.
Here come the tears again...as I am feeling how much I Love Human Beings - my "species". And I Love this planet, and I don't want to see humanity, or this planet destroyed by anyone, for any reason. That is why I am doing what I am doing.
It would seem by the responses I have received thus far on Reddit, that at least some people think there is something wrong with that, either the "naive dream" of World Peace, or my particular approach to trying to make that dream a reality, or my way of writing about it. Again, hard to say what their "issues" are by a total of up or down votes and not very many comments or questions.
I am sharing this post with the "Anti-war" Reddit, because, I'm thinking, maybe I'm just trying to communicate with the wrong groups of people on Reddit. Or, at least, I should start with people that might be slightly more inclined to hear me out, rather than throwing myself to the "pack". Maybe those early decisions and postings were more naive on my part, even if I do not feel the same applies to my conviction that world peace is possible and that I can do something, even lots of different things, to help bring it about.
As the saying goes: Live and Learn!
Given my endeavors of the last several months, that statement could not be more true! Because I have Learned A Lot from all of my life experiences of late, probably more from the mistakes I've made (like not knowing how to price things for maximum returns as a seller on e-bay) than from what I have done well - like keeping myself safe on my bicycle, alone, on the road for over 60 days and 1200 miles now, from Jacksonville Beach, Florida to Houston, Texas.
For members of the Reddit Anti-war forum, you might find this blog I wrote some time ago relevant: The Power of Love and the Principle of Non-Aggression and the follow-up to that, Evolving Plans - NAPF Conference in July 2012.
The "evolution" process I mention in that latter blog has brought me to where I am now: 1) As I mention above, I have completed 1200 miles of my cross-country bicycle trek. 2) I have published over 50 blogs since the inception of the idea to ride across the country. 3) I have raised enough money to get me this far, maybe a little further, but I am going to need a significant financial boost to get me to California in time for the workshop. 4) I made a deal with the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation to sign-up new members in exchange for credit towards my workshop tuition. This has proven to be a lot more difficult than I expected, in part because I have not had the venues where I could meet and talk with a lot of people at once. Instead, I have signed-up most of my Couch Surfing and Warm Showers hosts (with about 30 different stops so far), the "hosts" of the various camp-sites where I have stayed, even clerks at the motels and hotels, where I could. I have also signed-up a few random people that I have met "on the street". But, even over 1200 miles, that has added up to only 150 people, or so, and I need at least another 270 new members to "close the deal". Most recently, the NAPF did give me the option to sign up 100 of those remaining members prior to July 21st, and the rest after the workshop, as I plan to continue my cross-country journey from Texas to California.
Since I've been on the road, my expenses have come from the few hotels and motels I've stayed in ($220); and campgrounds ($45), cycling gear/maintenance ($85); "admin" - some shipping, printing, money transfer fees, ($150); food/electrolyte water, toiletries, bug spray, and sunscreen ($585). All that comes out to about $18/day and slightly less than $1/mile.
I think I left Jacksonville with just a little over $200, sold most of my portable solar gear to one of my hosts in Seacrest, Florida for $340, and the rest of my expenses I've had to cover with donations. According to this website, What It Costs.com, costs for cross-country bike trips in the U.S. can range from $2500 to $8600, so I am definitely coming in on the low end of that range so far.
In addition, I opted over a year ago for a much cheaper (in the long run) pay-per-use phone, and no Internet service for that phone or my iPad. Unfortunately, that has made it a lot more difficult for me to be as consistent with my blog updates, or figuring out where I am or where I need to go (with no on the road GPS service), or even to contact potential hosts, but I am doing the best I can with all of that.
By now you may be wondering, why did I not make sure I had "enough money" to do everything before I left? Well...1) It would have been hard to know that amount without the day to day experience. 2) Having never done anything like this before, I did not want to ask too many people, or other major sponsors, to support my efforts until I had proven more about my abilities to do what I am doing. 3) Once the NAPF Workshop became my goal, I had a limited time-frame in which to complete my ride, so I had to get on the road. And as experience has shown, I should have left even earlier than I did, but...I was having to fundraise right up to the day before I left Jacksonville, when I sold my '73 VW Super Beetle...for $300. One more trip to the grocery store, and that left me with the $200+ I mentioned leaving with earlier.
As for now, my most critical "needs" are: 1) To sign up another 100 people as members of the NAPF before July 21st. Those names need to go through me, in order for me to get credit for them. (This has been another one of those frustrating challenges because there is no way for people to offer a reference to me when they sign-up or donate directly through the NAPF website.) Consequently, if by chance you, as a reader of this post, would like to be one of those New Members, I need you to send me your Name, E-mail Address, and Zip Code, via my e-mail address: llbell_100@yahoo.com. Membership is free. You will receive the NAPF "Sunflower" newsletter once per month and you may hear from me, although, thanks to Yahoo making it very difficult to send out mass e-mails, it is actually a lot of work for me to update people that way...or put out requests for donations. Consequently, I can promise you I won't be bombarding you with e-mails, and I am not a "big company" that sells info to other "big companies". And I don't ever plan to be, so your info is as safe as it can be in my Yahoo contacts list.
2) I have priced air fare on Southwest from Dallas-Love airport to Los Angeles (LAX) at $159 one-way, plus $48 for a shuttle bus from LAX to Santa Barbara. That money I need ASAP in order to take advantage of lower costs with advance reservations and I can pay for my plane ticket directly out of my PayPal account. If you would like to make a financial contribution to my efforts, especially for this immediate need, you can do so through the PayPal "Donate" button located => over there => in the right-hand column of this page. (After the workshop, I will be spending some time with another relative that lives in the area before returning to Texas. Clearly, I will need air fare for that return flight as well, but I am focusing on my "immediate" needs with this particular post.)
In exchange for your support, I promise: 1) I will not give up my personal struggle for Peace in this World, 2) I will not give up on my goal to attend the NAPF Peace Leadership Workshop in Santa Barbara, and 3) I will not give up on my goal to complete my bicycle ride across the U.S. and continue to "Wage Peace" in whatever way I can after that.
Furthermore, I will not give up on my species, and all the human beings I know and love, and those I have yet to meet... and ride my bicycle into the woods to live out the rest of my life, alone, as a primitive survivalist! : )) (Although, thanks to Tom Brown, Jr. and a couple of weeks of Tracker/Survival school, I might just be able to do that if left with no alternatives that allow me to continue to live my life freely, and without aggression towards my fellow human beings, and with "work" that is genuinely meaningful to me!)
I know a lot of people out there who would also like to "run away" from all of this, but I have realized that isn't really the best option. We are here, we are all in this together, we have this truly amazing system for communicating with one another and sharing information and resources, and Now Is The Time, if ever there was one, to make this world a better place for all of us to live, and grow, and learn, and most importantly to Love and Be Happy for generations to come.
So with respect to my own "Life Work" as I see it now: I am completely convinced that the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, and especially Paul K. Chappell, are on the right track to Change the Way People in this World THINK about Peace, about personal and national "security", and especially to change the way we think about who we are (and are NOT) as human beings. I know, that even with my strong background in social science and psychology, I learned so much more from reading Paul's books - so much more that is of Critical Importance right now. Yes, I wanted to ride my bicycle across the country anyway, but the understanding I got from reading Paul's books, and the encouragement I received from the NAPF, is what "tipped the scales" as far as my Actually Doing what I was otherwise only "thinking" about doing, and "planning" to do.
But, honestly, all I have ever really wanted to do in my life, and it is truly heart felt when I say this, with tears rising to my eyes again...All I've ever really wanted to do was to Be of Service to others. I've done so in smaller ways throughout my life, but now I want to do it in a Much Bigger Way - I want to help bring Peace to the World.
Just because achieving World Peace is a much bigger challenge, does not make it less important, or "naive" to try to accomplish. On the whole, human beings have as much of a history of achieving greatness as they do for destroying themselves. I would rather stand on the positive side of that ongoing story, rather then the negative. At the same time, I am humble enough to know that this is going to be a Group Effort. I realize there are limits to what each person can do by themselves. Nevertheless, I am definitely willing to do whatever it is I Can Do, and that is what I Am Doing right now. Trust me, this Ride of My Lifetime is taking everything I have to give...and I wouldn't want it any other way.
What about you? What are you willing to do to make World Peace a Reality?
What I am communicating below I have also shared in part under the sub-Reddits "IAmA" and "Bicycling". I understand that I am new to the Reddit community. Nevertheless, the responses I have received thus far have been pretty disappointing. I would really like more feedback than just up or down votes, because, as necessary, I am willing to learn how to communicate more effectively, in general, and in the Reddit environment in particular.
I know I can come off as "odd" to people at first, but once they get to know me, they realize I am "for real", that I really am a decent, sincere, passionate, and compassionate person, and one who really does want to make a difference in the world in the best way I can, or think I can.
Not to be overly dramatic, but I'm choking-up, crying even, as I write these words, because I'm thinking about all that I have been through, and deliberately chosen to put myself through over the last several weeks and months, in order to do just that: To make a difference in the world - To live my life according to the principle of non-aggression and to REALLY help bring about World Peace, through very deliberate and intentional effort...a lot of effort...and with the knowledge that more effort, even extraordinary effort, will be necessary in order to reach that goal.
In many of his talks, author and Peace Leadership Director for the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, Paul K. Chappell, points out that all too often, people believe "World Peace" is a naive dream, a joke answer to a beauty pageant question. I follow his logic, however, when he points out that thinking we can continue the way we are going, and survive as a species, is even more naive.
Here come the tears again...as I am feeling how much I Love Human Beings - my "species". And I Love this planet, and I don't want to see humanity, or this planet destroyed by anyone, for any reason. That is why I am doing what I am doing.
It would seem by the responses I have received thus far on Reddit, that at least some people think there is something wrong with that, either the "naive dream" of World Peace, or my particular approach to trying to make that dream a reality, or my way of writing about it. Again, hard to say what their "issues" are by a total of up or down votes and not very many comments or questions.
I am sharing this post with the "Anti-war" Reddit, because, I'm thinking, maybe I'm just trying to communicate with the wrong groups of people on Reddit. Or, at least, I should start with people that might be slightly more inclined to hear me out, rather than throwing myself to the "pack". Maybe those early decisions and postings were more naive on my part, even if I do not feel the same applies to my conviction that world peace is possible and that I can do something, even lots of different things, to help bring it about.
As the saying goes: Live and Learn!
Given my endeavors of the last several months, that statement could not be more true! Because I have Learned A Lot from all of my life experiences of late, probably more from the mistakes I've made (like not knowing how to price things for maximum returns as a seller on e-bay) than from what I have done well - like keeping myself safe on my bicycle, alone, on the road for over 60 days and 1200 miles now, from Jacksonville Beach, Florida to Houston, Texas.
For members of the Reddit Anti-war forum, you might find this blog I wrote some time ago relevant: The Power of Love and the Principle of Non-Aggression and the follow-up to that, Evolving Plans - NAPF Conference in July 2012.
The "evolution" process I mention in that latter blog has brought me to where I am now: 1) As I mention above, I have completed 1200 miles of my cross-country bicycle trek. 2) I have published over 50 blogs since the inception of the idea to ride across the country. 3) I have raised enough money to get me this far, maybe a little further, but I am going to need a significant financial boost to get me to California in time for the workshop. 4) I made a deal with the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation to sign-up new members in exchange for credit towards my workshop tuition. This has proven to be a lot more difficult than I expected, in part because I have not had the venues where I could meet and talk with a lot of people at once. Instead, I have signed-up most of my Couch Surfing and Warm Showers hosts (with about 30 different stops so far), the "hosts" of the various camp-sites where I have stayed, even clerks at the motels and hotels, where I could. I have also signed-up a few random people that I have met "on the street". But, even over 1200 miles, that has added up to only 150 people, or so, and I need at least another 270 new members to "close the deal". Most recently, the NAPF did give me the option to sign up 100 of those remaining members prior to July 21st, and the rest after the workshop, as I plan to continue my cross-country journey from Texas to California.
Since I've been on the road, my expenses have come from the few hotels and motels I've stayed in ($220); and campgrounds ($45), cycling gear/maintenance ($85); "admin" - some shipping, printing, money transfer fees, ($150); food/electrolyte water, toiletries, bug spray, and sunscreen ($585). All that comes out to about $18/day and slightly less than $1/mile.
I think I left Jacksonville with just a little over $200, sold most of my portable solar gear to one of my hosts in Seacrest, Florida for $340, and the rest of my expenses I've had to cover with donations. According to this website, What It Costs.com, costs for cross-country bike trips in the U.S. can range from $2500 to $8600, so I am definitely coming in on the low end of that range so far.
In addition, I opted over a year ago for a much cheaper (in the long run) pay-per-use phone, and no Internet service for that phone or my iPad. Unfortunately, that has made it a lot more difficult for me to be as consistent with my blog updates, or figuring out where I am or where I need to go (with no on the road GPS service), or even to contact potential hosts, but I am doing the best I can with all of that.
By now you may be wondering, why did I not make sure I had "enough money" to do everything before I left? Well...1) It would have been hard to know that amount without the day to day experience. 2) Having never done anything like this before, I did not want to ask too many people, or other major sponsors, to support my efforts until I had proven more about my abilities to do what I am doing. 3) Once the NAPF Workshop became my goal, I had a limited time-frame in which to complete my ride, so I had to get on the road. And as experience has shown, I should have left even earlier than I did, but...I was having to fundraise right up to the day before I left Jacksonville, when I sold my '73 VW Super Beetle...for $300. One more trip to the grocery store, and that left me with the $200+ I mentioned leaving with earlier.
As for now, my most critical "needs" are: 1) To sign up another 100 people as members of the NAPF before July 21st. Those names need to go through me, in order for me to get credit for them. (This has been another one of those frustrating challenges because there is no way for people to offer a reference to me when they sign-up or donate directly through the NAPF website.) Consequently, if by chance you, as a reader of this post, would like to be one of those New Members, I need you to send me your Name, E-mail Address, and Zip Code, via my e-mail address: llbell_100@yahoo.com. Membership is free. You will receive the NAPF "Sunflower" newsletter once per month and you may hear from me, although, thanks to Yahoo making it very difficult to send out mass e-mails, it is actually a lot of work for me to update people that way...or put out requests for donations. Consequently, I can promise you I won't be bombarding you with e-mails, and I am not a "big company" that sells info to other "big companies". And I don't ever plan to be, so your info is as safe as it can be in my Yahoo contacts list.
2) I have priced air fare on Southwest from Dallas-Love airport to Los Angeles (LAX) at $159 one-way, plus $48 for a shuttle bus from LAX to Santa Barbara. That money I need ASAP in order to take advantage of lower costs with advance reservations and I can pay for my plane ticket directly out of my PayPal account. If you would like to make a financial contribution to my efforts, especially for this immediate need, you can do so through the PayPal "Donate" button located => over there => in the right-hand column of this page. (After the workshop, I will be spending some time with another relative that lives in the area before returning to Texas. Clearly, I will need air fare for that return flight as well, but I am focusing on my "immediate" needs with this particular post.)
In exchange for your support, I promise: 1) I will not give up my personal struggle for Peace in this World, 2) I will not give up on my goal to attend the NAPF Peace Leadership Workshop in Santa Barbara, and 3) I will not give up on my goal to complete my bicycle ride across the U.S. and continue to "Wage Peace" in whatever way I can after that.
Furthermore, I will not give up on my species, and all the human beings I know and love, and those I have yet to meet... and ride my bicycle into the woods to live out the rest of my life, alone, as a primitive survivalist! : )) (Although, thanks to Tom Brown, Jr. and a couple of weeks of Tracker/Survival school, I might just be able to do that if left with no alternatives that allow me to continue to live my life freely, and without aggression towards my fellow human beings, and with "work" that is genuinely meaningful to me!)
I know a lot of people out there who would also like to "run away" from all of this, but I have realized that isn't really the best option. We are here, we are all in this together, we have this truly amazing system for communicating with one another and sharing information and resources, and Now Is The Time, if ever there was one, to make this world a better place for all of us to live, and grow, and learn, and most importantly to Love and Be Happy for generations to come.
So with respect to my own "Life Work" as I see it now: I am completely convinced that the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation, and especially Paul K. Chappell, are on the right track to Change the Way People in this World THINK about Peace, about personal and national "security", and especially to change the way we think about who we are (and are NOT) as human beings. I know, that even with my strong background in social science and psychology, I learned so much more from reading Paul's books - so much more that is of Critical Importance right now. Yes, I wanted to ride my bicycle across the country anyway, but the understanding I got from reading Paul's books, and the encouragement I received from the NAPF, is what "tipped the scales" as far as my Actually Doing what I was otherwise only "thinking" about doing, and "planning" to do.
But, honestly, all I have ever really wanted to do in my life, and it is truly heart felt when I say this, with tears rising to my eyes again...All I've ever really wanted to do was to Be of Service to others. I've done so in smaller ways throughout my life, but now I want to do it in a Much Bigger Way - I want to help bring Peace to the World.
Just because achieving World Peace is a much bigger challenge, does not make it less important, or "naive" to try to accomplish. On the whole, human beings have as much of a history of achieving greatness as they do for destroying themselves. I would rather stand on the positive side of that ongoing story, rather then the negative. At the same time, I am humble enough to know that this is going to be a Group Effort. I realize there are limits to what each person can do by themselves. Nevertheless, I am definitely willing to do whatever it is I Can Do, and that is what I Am Doing right now. Trust me, this Ride of My Lifetime is taking everything I have to give...and I wouldn't want it any other way.
What about you? What are you willing to do to make World Peace a Reality?
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Baton Rouge, LA to ... Tennessee!?! : ))
Having covered over 835 miles in 44 days to get to Baton Rouge, LA to spend some time with a friend whom I have not seen in 25 years, I have been offered the opportunity to travel with him to spend some time with other college friends kayaking, camping, and possibly even caving in the rolling hills of Tennessee.
Although I hesitated at first, because of the time it would take away from my bicycle journey, I have also had to acknowledge that my last 60 mile push into Baton Rouge really took a toll on me. Coming up on four days now, and I am still suffering from some rather disconcerting swelling of my calves and ankles, as well as a tightness in my chest/diaphragm making it a bit hard to draw a full breath. I am hoping the back and forth of the heat of the sun and cold of the waters in which we will be kayaking today will work their magic to reduce this swelling. Furthermore, there is a big bonfire planned for Saturday night where I will have even more opportunities to talk about my trip with friends and friends of friends.
As suggested above, this is going to take a bit of time out of what I had originally allotted for my cross-country transit to Santa Barbara. Nevertheless, at the pace I've been going, I would have been hard-pressed to make it by July 21st anyway, and, although I have not said anything about it so far, I have always had a "Plan B" in the back of my mind, just in case it looked like I was not going to be able to make that deadline.
So, "Plan B" is as follows: I will go as far as I reasonably can (at this point I am aiming for Tucson, AZ as I already have a definite contact there). Then, I will take a bus from Tucson (or wherever I get to) to Santa Barbara. I will attend the Peace Leadership Workshop from July 22nd through the 29th. Then I will take the bus back to Tucson and proceed west to complete my bike trip. What happens after that is yet to be determined! : )
I have already priced the round-trip bus ticket, at between $212 and $300. I will definitely be looking at other, potentially less expensive options as well, but that is what I have to plan for right now. In addition, one way for me to lighten the load, and therefore to speed up a bit, is to NOT carry as much of my own food with me. However, that in turn means I have to spend at least a little more on food I purchase along the way. I'm estimating those expenses in total to be about $40-70/week. I also need to consider carrying more water and electrolytes (store-bought sports drinks or electrolyte powder from Cliff Bar), as the next several weeks through Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona are going to be particularly difficult because of the heat.
In other words, I need to raise between $450 and $750 to get to Santa Barbara in time to attend the Peace Leadership Workshop. This does not include any additional money I might have to raise for the $850 tuition, part of which I Have been able to cover so far with New Member sign-ups (i.e. over 100 names and if I can get those 100 or so people to sign up more people, then I won't need to sign up all of them directly myself). (I have some more direct e-mail work to do in that area, but if I do not have your name, zip code, and e-mail address on my list yet, and you want to be added, please let me know as soon as possible.)
So, that is "where I'm at" right now! A little annoyed with the leg-swelling issues, but hoping the rest and change-up of activities will help with that. Still extremely grateful for all of the support I have already received from friends and "strangers" I now consider friends as well. Still needing more of that support to continue my journey, so please use the PayPal "Donate" button in the right column if you would like to help me along my way.
It has been an Amazing Journey so far! I wish I had more time to write about it, but being able to keep going means, taking more time to focus on fundraising and saving "the rest of the story" for later, and I apologize for that, but that's the reality of the situation right now. Kind of like when public radio stations do their fundraising, you have to "make the call" and help them reach their fundraising goals before they go back to their "regularly scheduled programming"! : )
So, please, "Make the Call" (i.e. make whatever donation you can via my PayPal "Donate" button. : ))
Thanks Everyone! Here's to "Turtle Power" and "Keepin' On, Keepin' On!"
Although I hesitated at first, because of the time it would take away from my bicycle journey, I have also had to acknowledge that my last 60 mile push into Baton Rouge really took a toll on me. Coming up on four days now, and I am still suffering from some rather disconcerting swelling of my calves and ankles, as well as a tightness in my chest/diaphragm making it a bit hard to draw a full breath. I am hoping the back and forth of the heat of the sun and cold of the waters in which we will be kayaking today will work their magic to reduce this swelling. Furthermore, there is a big bonfire planned for Saturday night where I will have even more opportunities to talk about my trip with friends and friends of friends.
As suggested above, this is going to take a bit of time out of what I had originally allotted for my cross-country transit to Santa Barbara. Nevertheless, at the pace I've been going, I would have been hard-pressed to make it by July 21st anyway, and, although I have not said anything about it so far, I have always had a "Plan B" in the back of my mind, just in case it looked like I was not going to be able to make that deadline.
So, "Plan B" is as follows: I will go as far as I reasonably can (at this point I am aiming for Tucson, AZ as I already have a definite contact there). Then, I will take a bus from Tucson (or wherever I get to) to Santa Barbara. I will attend the Peace Leadership Workshop from July 22nd through the 29th. Then I will take the bus back to Tucson and proceed west to complete my bike trip. What happens after that is yet to be determined! : )
I have already priced the round-trip bus ticket, at between $212 and $300. I will definitely be looking at other, potentially less expensive options as well, but that is what I have to plan for right now. In addition, one way for me to lighten the load, and therefore to speed up a bit, is to NOT carry as much of my own food with me. However, that in turn means I have to spend at least a little more on food I purchase along the way. I'm estimating those expenses in total to be about $40-70/week. I also need to consider carrying more water and electrolytes (store-bought sports drinks or electrolyte powder from Cliff Bar), as the next several weeks through Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona are going to be particularly difficult because of the heat.
In other words, I need to raise between $450 and $750 to get to Santa Barbara in time to attend the Peace Leadership Workshop. This does not include any additional money I might have to raise for the $850 tuition, part of which I Have been able to cover so far with New Member sign-ups (i.e. over 100 names and if I can get those 100 or so people to sign up more people, then I won't need to sign up all of them directly myself). (I have some more direct e-mail work to do in that area, but if I do not have your name, zip code, and e-mail address on my list yet, and you want to be added, please let me know as soon as possible.)
So, that is "where I'm at" right now! A little annoyed with the leg-swelling issues, but hoping the rest and change-up of activities will help with that. Still extremely grateful for all of the support I have already received from friends and "strangers" I now consider friends as well. Still needing more of that support to continue my journey, so please use the PayPal "Donate" button in the right column if you would like to help me along my way.
It has been an Amazing Journey so far! I wish I had more time to write about it, but being able to keep going means, taking more time to focus on fundraising and saving "the rest of the story" for later, and I apologize for that, but that's the reality of the situation right now. Kind of like when public radio stations do their fundraising, you have to "make the call" and help them reach their fundraising goals before they go back to their "regularly scheduled programming"! : )
So, please, "Make the Call" (i.e. make whatever donation you can via my PayPal "Donate" button. : ))
Thanks Everyone! Here's to "Turtle Power" and "Keepin' On, Keepin' On!"
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Evolving Plans - NAPF Conference in July 2012?
From the beginning of my quest to ride my bicycle across the country, I have had people ask me "Why do you want to do this?". As I discussed somewhat in my previous blog, there were a lot of reasons, but probably the deepest motivation is that as much as humanly possible, I would rather live freely and peacefully from my bicycle then be a slave to an economic system, society, and government that is founded in violence.
So that's the "Big Picture" goal of my quest to ride my bicycle across and/or around the country. Unfortunately, it is not something that is easy for other people to really understand and I respect that without that understanding it makes it harder for them to feel comfortable "supporting" my efforts.
As a consequence, I have been kind of "spinning my wheels" figuratively rather than actually over the last several months. However, I think I may have found something that will help bring more focus to my efforts...
In July 2012, the Nuclear Age Peace Foundation (NAPF) is holding a Peace Leadership conference in Santa Barbara, CA. (Follow this link for details: http://www.wagingpeace.org/menu/programs/peace-leaders/) At first I was thinking..."There's no way I could do this." However, if I am able to accomplish some of my other goals while I am living here in Florida - mainly, moving my stuff that I left in storage in Maryland, and finishing the process of sorting through and selling off all of that, then I just might have enough time left to ride my bike across the country and make it to the conference. Furthermore, once I have received the training, I will be in a better position to teach others about "Waging Peace", which is really want I am intent on doing anyway, I just didn't have a name for it when I first started this journey! : ))
In addition, this will help to answer one of the other questions that has come up frequently: "What are you going to do 'for a living' once you are finished with your bike trip?" Well, maybe the NAPF will consider hiring me as a full-time employee? : ) Or maybe I can just become a freelance public speaker and trainer? Who knows? Either way, I appreciate what the organization is offering, and I especially appreciate the Wisdom and Self-Discipline embodied in the Leadership Director, Paul Chappell.
From the onset of this adventure I have known that it would be a mixture of very focused planning as well as an openness to respond to whatever the "Universe" had to offer in terms of "direction". I feel I am staying true to the core of my Heart Intention which is most important, otherwise, leaving room for the "details" to, in effect, work themselves out. Coming across the NAPF via Facebook and having the conference date set and posted recently seems to be the right kind of "Universal Direction" I'm referring to.
So...we'll see how this goes... : ))
In the mean time - May All of You Have a Very Peace-Full Holiday Season! : ))
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